Why Change Doesn’t Start With a Plan

Sep 16, 2024 | Thought leadership, Transformation

Most leadership development programmes assume that talented people change when they’re given the right framework, the right feedback, or the right incentive. Over four decades of hands-on experience developing, coaching and advising executives across global organisations tell a different story. People rarely change because a model tells them to. Something inside them has to shift first, whether or not they have admitted it to themselves yet.

This matters enormously for anyone designing a programme meant to accelerate how talent grows into leadership. Treat development purely as a knowledge transfer problem, and the result is often a group of people who can recite the right language about agility, resilience or customer focus but behave no differently under pressure. Real transformation follows a different, more human logic.

It tends to begin with discomfort. Not vague dissatisfaction, but a mounting frustration with the status quo that eventually becomes too costly to keep tolerating. People can live with an unsatisfying pattern for a surprisingly long time, so long as it stays diffuse. What shifts things is when isolated frustrations start to add up into a coherent picture, when a person notices that a bad month has quietly become a bad year. That accumulation of discomfort is what makes change possible in the first place. Comfort, ironically, is the enemy of growth.

Left alone, however, a person can sit with this kind of unresolved discomfort indefinitely, absorbing it into daily frustration without ever converting it into real momentum. This is where deliberate programme design matters. Part of the value KDVI brings as a partner is knowing how to surface that discomfort responsibly: holding up an honest mirror to the gap between where someone is and where they are capable of being, naming the cost of standing still in terms that are hard to dismiss, and calibrating that pressure carefully so it motivates rather than triggering defensiveness or shutdown.

Recognising the gap, on its own, rarely triggers action. It usually takes something more specific: a moment that crystallises the problem and makes it impossible to keep looking away. This is often smaller than people expect. It doesn’t have to be a dramatic public failure or a career crisis. Sometimes it’s a passing comment from a colleague, a missed opportunity that stings more than it should, or watching someone else struggle with a problem that suddenly looks familiar. What makes an event significant isn’t its objective size. It’s the fact that the person is finally ready to see it. The groundwork for change has already been laid; the event just gives it a shape.

Rather than waiting for a moment like this to arise by chance, KDVI builds structured equivalents into our programmes: coaching conversations, peer reflection groups, and facilitated dialogue that create the same clarifying effect deliberately. These are spaces designed to feel safe enough for someone to face what isn’t working, sit with what they may need to let go of, and commit out loud to something different.

What happens next matters just as much as what came before. People who state their intentions out loud, to a manager, a coach, or a peer group, are considerably more likely to follow through than those who keep their resolve private. Saying something publicly does two things at once. It signals to others that the old way of operating is no longer acceptable, inviting a kind of social accountability. It also raises the personal stakes. Having declared an intention, backing away from it starts to feel like a loss of credibility, not a quiet, private retreat. This is one reason cohort-based development, where participants openly commit to specific behavioural shifts in front of peers, tends to outperform individual instruction delivered in isolation.

Genuine change, from there, is a slow and largely interior process. It involves reappraising goals, sitting with uncomfortable new insight, and gradually absorbing a different way of operating instead of simply performing it for an audience. This stage is easy to underestimate because it produces little visible activity. A person can look, from the outside, as though nothing much is happening, while doing the hardest part of the work internally. Programmes that expect instant behavioural proof at this stage often mistake a necessary pause for a lack of progress.

Two conditions consistently make this journey more likely to succeed. Genuine social support is one of them. People who feel they are working through a difficult transition alone are far more likely to relapse into old patterns than those who have colleagues, mentors, or coaches actively engaged with them along the way. The second is a disposition sometimes called “psychological hardiness”: a felt sense that one’s own actions, more than external circumstances, shape outcomes. People with this orientation treat disruption as a challenge worth engaging with, not a threat to simply survive.

Organisations follow a remarkably similar arc. Transformation efforts stall when leadership tries to skip straight to new structures, scorecards, and strategic language without first addressing the emotional undercurrent running through the system: the anxiety, the quiet resistance, the unspoken mourning for what is being left behind. The organisations that navigate change well treat transformation as a human process first and a strategic one second.

This is the thinking behind how KDVI design leadership development work. Alongside relevant frameworks applied to real current leadership challenges, we build in the discomfort, the moments of recognition, the public commitments, and the sustained support that allow people to actually work through this arc. This means that the change that emerges belongs to them and is more likely to last.

Oriane Kets de Vries:

Oriane Kets de Vries is CEO and owner of the Kets de Vries Institute. She leads a global team of coaches, consultants and educators dedicated to developing reflective, emotionally intelligent leaders and cultivating workplaces where people can thrive. In her faculty role, she draws on extensive experience designing and directing leadership programmes for senior executives, contributing her expertise in psychodynamic coaching, organisational culture, and transformational leadership development.

Oriane has served as consultant, coach, and programme director for clients including Pictet, Deutsche Bank, Merck, UBS, Mishcon de Reya, and Engie, and she has taught on open-enrolment programmes with leading institutions such as Cambridge Judge Business School, Oxford Saïd, INSEAD, ESCP, ESMT and CEDEP. Her interests centre on the human side of leadership, particularly identity, creativity, entrepreneurship and gender dynamics. She holds an MBA and Executive MA in Coaching and Consulting for Change from INSEAD, has trained at the Harvard Kennedy School, and brings more than a decade of professional experience in creative and entrepreneurial industries into her work with leaders.

Manfred Kets de Vries:

Manfred Kets de Vries is a pioneering authority in leadership development, coaching, and organisational change. He is a founder and director of the Kets de Vries Institute (KDVI) and served as Distinguished Clinical Professor of Leadership Development and Organisational Change at INSEAD. With academic credentials in economics (University of Amsterdam), management (MBA and DBA, Harvard Business School), and psychoanalysis (trained in Canada), he brings a uniquely interdisciplinary perspective to leadership. His work bridges management theory and clinical insight, establishing him as a global thought leader in executive coaching and transformation. At INSEAD, he founded the Global Leadership Centre and led the flagship programme The Challenge of Leadership for 31 years. He also served as scientific director of Coaching and Consulting for Change, an 18-month Executive Master’s programme that has shaped over 3,000 senior leaders and executive coaches worldwide. He has advised and coached senior executives at global firms including Goldman Sachs, BP, Shell, Unilever, McKinsey, and Volvo. A prolific author of over 60 books and 400 articles, his work appears regularly in The Financial Times, The Economist, and Harvard Business Review. Recognised by Le Capital, Wirtschaftswoche, and The Financial Times as one of the world’s top 50 management thinkers, he is widely regarded for advancing more human-centred approaches to leadership.

Yulia Chupina:

Senior Adviser (Luminary) at Accenture and executive coach with over 12 years of board experience. Formerly a banker and McKinsey consultant, Yulia has led banking transformations in digital, agile, organisational change, and talent development. Her coaching spans the finance, tech, and consumer goods sectors, blending technological insight with emotional intelligence to guide leaders through transformation. Recently, she advised BBVA on agile methodologies and senior talent development. Influenced by thought leaders such as Manfred Kets de Vries and Gabor Maté, Yulia brings an analytical, reflective approach to leadership. She has lived and worked across the UK, Spain, the US, and Russia.

Elizabeth Florent:

Elizabeth has worked closely with Manfred Kets de Vries for many years and has served as a Senior Lecturer and Research Fellow at INSEAD. Her extensive background in leadership development spans organisational consulting, executive coaching, and academic research. She holds advanced degrees in Organisational Development and Clinical Organisational Psychology and is a certified Coaching Supervisor through the Tavistock Institute. Her doctoral research explored experiential domains in executive education, and she has authored or co-authored numerous academic articles, case studies, and books on leadership and organisational dynamics. Elizabeth led the development teams behind KDVI’s diagnostic instruments, including the GELM, OCA™, and ITI. Drawing on her diverse training and global experience, she brings deep cross-cultural insight to her work with leaders worldwide. Originally from California, Elizabeth has made France her home for over 30 years.